I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so let's talk penis.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
