i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
how do you play pong handcuffed?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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