he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
