Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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