even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
A+ Viking dick
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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