we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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