1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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