who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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