I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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