I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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