We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
