Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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