it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We need a shit load of segways right now
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
