Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
