worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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