have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
