Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
