So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
