so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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