Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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