Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We don't watch enough power rangers
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
