Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's official drugs can't kill me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
