Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
