Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
