I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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