so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
