I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
