And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
