his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
