Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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