The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
