Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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