what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
