I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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