.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
