I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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