She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
