well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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