summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
