nut hugger
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
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