If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
