Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
