You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
