until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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