do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
