I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
