My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
