Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
