Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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