Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
