Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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