you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
