Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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