Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
